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It would never happen if that was my list. I understand that laundry needs to get done. Groceries need to get bought. But if you are in a situation where you literally do not have time to do the things that you need to do to make a marriage work, you have a problem.

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And you need to do something about that problem. Because if your kid who is 4 is going to karate once a week, and swimming once a week, your marriage is worth more than a 4-year-old enduring a karate lesson. Maybe we need to look at how we do life. What your kids really need is for you and your husband to be together. Your kids need you to have a rock-solid marriage way more than they need their extra-curricular activities. What do you want? This or that? I was just talking to my husband about this the other day.

We were talking about the sadness of losing couple friends, and who do you hang out with now. That intimacy. Cultivating that relationship. I think it is just so sad. Then the sex just falls in right after that. Honestly, most women that you talk to say that their marriage is a priority.


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There is a choice. But then make up a 5-year plan so that you are not going to be here forever. Maybe it means downsizing.

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Whatever it is. You want your marriage to last. You want to just have fun. Enjoy your husband. Not be stressed. Then we have to think differently about how we do our money, activities, and all this other stuff. Hey friend! Have you heard of the Supermom Vault yet? The Supermom Vault is a library of inspiration I created for you. Check it out! I want to come back to the reverse libido problem. First of all, you have to figure out why. In that case, you just talk about. I think we are missing out on it. Can we talk about it? How to live with passion and adventure and a better living life?

There could actually be something going on. It could simply be health issues, or stress at work. Tons of antidepressants cause low libido. You might need to talk to your doctor about that. The 1 reason is porn abuse.

Ask Sheila: I'm Too Embarrassed to Initiate Sex! Christian Sex Advice

Then that feeling is paired with an image, or a video. Not to get too graphic, but usually things are done watching porn so that sexual release is occurring. That cements something in your brain so that you relate arousing with that porn instead of a person. Even men who have stopped watching porn, even if they have gone through the battle and they have stopped it, they get married and she is not porn. He might totally love her, but he is not necessarily aroused by her. It is a difficult thing. I love that you brought that up.

My last question for you is I wanted to know what you would say to the wife who has been emotionally hurt. Definitely not talking about physical abuse at all. But just a lot of emotional pain. A rocky marriage. Maybe she is just feeling really resentful. What would you say about emotions and past hurt is getting in the way of being able to open up and be intimate with your husband. If you are going through that, please seek a counselor, get some help. Men tend to make love in order to feel loved. Whereas women need to feel love in order to make love.

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That can be a recipe for disaster because then you can feel disconnected. He wants to build that bridge by making love whereas she has no interest whatsoever until they emotionally connect. So I would say that this is really a two-step process. One is recognizing that when you do make love, you tend to feel closer. There is actually a biological basis for that. Where when you make love you produce Oxytocin which is the same hormone we produce when you are nursing your baby.

So after you make love for the next day or two, you tend to be more affectionate with him.


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You laugh more. The tension level comes way down. So if there is tension in the marriage, making love will actually bridge a lot of that gap that you might not understand. I know it seems like the last thing you want to do but try to throw yourself into it. Try to remember how much you love him.

Try to remember how much you want this marriage, and you might find that it starts to bridge a lot of that gap that you are feeling. The second thing is your emotional needs do matter. If you are feeling distant, you do need to address that. What do you really want to know? Sheila is happy to work with churches or committees who have a theme in mind for their retreat. However, due to the time involved in prayer and Bible study to prepare completely new talks, Sheila limits these types of requests.

Therefore, we ask that you let Sheila know what topic you would like at the time of booking. We're happy to let Sheila pray about it and choose the topic herself. Is that okay?

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However, she would prefer that the event organizers choose the topic, since they are more familiar with the audience and know what they would like more. What are Sheila's fees? Her fees are set taking into account the amount of preparation that goes into each event, the amount of time away from her family, and the time spent at the event.

Are there other expenses involved? We ask that the event committee cover:. We would like to save on expenses by having Sheila stay in a private home. Is this okay? In general, Sheila prefers to stay in hotels, especially the evening before the event.

A library of inspiration.

She needs quiet time to pray, reflect, and prepare, and when staying in a home often the social demands can be disruptive. If an overnight stay is necessary after an event, Sheila is happy to accommodate her sleeping arrangements as best suits the group. Which airport does Sheila fly out of? When traveling within Canada, Sheila flies out of Pearson airport in Toronto. If traveling in the United States, Sheila is happy to fly out of the Syracuse, New York airport if this saves on airfare. Can we know Sheila's other expenses before the events? When Sheila books an event, she will send you a letter of understanding which will include her anticipated expenses, including mileage, meals and hotels.


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  5. If a speaking event requires Sheila to leave the house before 7: Because of traffic, this means that events in the Toronto or Ottawa area must start after We're a small church and we can't really afford Sheila's fees. Do you have any suggestions? If you want to host an event and have her come to speak, one idea is to band together with the churches in your area and put on an event together. Email Address. I focus mostly on sex and marriage, but I also have one on grief.

    Blogger I blog everyday at To Love, Honor, and Vacuum, one of the largest marriage blogs in North America, where I challenge pat Christian answers and offer real advice for the tough questions. Mainly women, these newsletters are written to educate, encourage, and empower readers in their marriages and faith lives. Wife and Mom Family is my first priority, and the fuel for my ministry. She gets down to the level where women really live. Straight-shooting advice. Learn More. About Sheila. Focusing mostly on marriage, but I also have one on grief. And I have a Chicken Soup for the Soul type book of my 90 favorite columns.

    Right here. If you give a discount for buying tickets early, though, you overcome part of this problem. Girl Talk is a really easy sell. People WILL come out to hear a talk on sex—absolutely. One church did the decorations. One church did the food. And because each church was responsible for one area, it was easy to split up the work.

    Ep Prioritizing Sex in Your Marriage w/ Sheila Wray Gregoire — Allie Casazza

    We explicitly affirm our belief in basic Bible teachings as follows: He rose from the dead in the same body, though glorified, in which He had lived and died. Speaking FAQs. What types of events does Sheila speak at? Together with her husband Keith, she also teaches at marriage conferences. Does Sheila speak at US and international events? Thank you for always choosing us.

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